O Muse, inspire my words on this Mother's Day, as I dedicate this sonnet to my wife, written in the style of Homer's Odyssey. It celebrates the lengths to which a devoted husband will go for the mother of his children - even redirecting water lines to plant fig trees.

A Homeric Sonnet to the Mother of My Children

Like Odysseus who sailed through raging seas, I chart a course through earth with shovel's might, To plant a fig tree for my love with ease, Though plumbing's path must bend to my delight.

Four angles sharp, like Scylla's deadly jaws, Each threatens pressure with their tight embrace. Four spots for leaks to form, without a pause, To seep in darkness, hidden without trace.

In time, the roots shall break the wall's stern guard, The fence I built with care shall crack and lean. Some faceless stranger's task shall be quite hard, When future days reveal what I have gleaned.

"What asshole thought this scheme would be worthwhile?" Or shall he say, "Such love, it makes me smile."

The Epic Labor Commemorated

As any modern-day Odysseus knows, true devotion means undertaking labors that might seem ill-advised to others. In my case, redirecting a water line to plant a fig tree for my wife - despite knowing full well the consequences:

1. The loss of head pressure from 4 90-degree angles in the line
2. The potential for 4 new leaks to appear mysteriously in obscure locations
3. The high likelihood that the tree will eventually break the retaining wall
4. The equally high likelihood that the tree's roots will undermine the specially engineered privacy fence

Yet, like Odysseus enduring trials to return to Penelope, this labor is worth the future complications. Perhaps someday, when someone digs up this engineering marvel to fix the inevitable problems, they'll recognize it not as folly but as devotion to the mother of my children.

The Epic Labor